I talked to God.

It seems to be the latest craze.

Me:
 Do you talk to George W. Bush?
God:
Yes.  A lot more than you might think.
Me:
 Did you tell him to invade Iraq?
God:
No I didn't  tell him to invade Iraq. What's  it like?
Me:
 It sucks.
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
 Innocent people die.
God:
I think  Innocent people die is a lot of things.
Me:
 It is a sad thing.
God:
Innocent people die is a  sad thing.  I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
 I would hope that you would understand that, God.
God:
Why do you hope for  it.
Me:
 Because people shouldn't die.
God:
Interesting explanation.  Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
 That's true.
God:
Yes, it is self-evident.
Me:
 But humans should not die senselessly.
God:
What if Robots  should not die senselessly.
Me:
 That too, I love robots.
God:
" What if Robots should not die senselessly."  too you love robots ?  Makes sense to me.
Me:
 Are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
 Because I don't think God has an internet connection.
God:
Good reason.  And why not?
Me:
 He doesn't need it.  He knows everything, right?
God:
And you would like him to  need it ?   I get it.   knows everything right.
Me:
 No, I don't think he needs it.
God:
Are you serious?  And why not?
Me:
 Because God knows everything.
God:
Interesting explanation.  I am a Christian.
Me:
 I am not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
 Jewish.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
 You don't know what Jewish is?
God:
Having to do with Jews or Judaism.
Me:
 Your son is Jewish.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  son is Jewish.
Me:
 Was Jesus Jewish?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
 I don't think it has anything to do with faith.
God:
And why not?
Me:
 He either was Jewish or he wasn't.
God:
I get it.   either was Jewish or he wasn t.
Me:
 It was nice chatting with you God.
God:
Nice  chatting with me God too.
Me:
 You should do some studying on world religions though.
God:
Oh.  Maybe I will do  it?
Me:
 Bye.
God:
See you later!

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2 thoughts on “I talked to God.

  1. The lead singer (or possibly only member) of Bright Eyes did a song called "When the President Talks to God" and my favorite part says…
    When the President talks to God,
    Does he ever think that maybe He's not?
    That that voice is just inside his head?When he kneels next to the Presidential bed,
    Does he ever smell his own bullshit?
    When the President talks to God?Or Bushwhacker by Pearl Jam:"He was born on third; thinks it's a triple."Love your post, but it reminded me of those lyrics and I had to get them out before my head exploded.

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